Damn Your Eyes

This is a rare classic slam, old Damn Your Eyes. I heard it a
few days ago, and recalled the first time someone yelled it at me, or more accurately,at a kid I was with. The yeller was an old gal herself, and my friend really deserved it, or possibly even a kick in the ass. Or both. I didn’t deserve my eyes being damned, but I did laugh at what he said. Whatever. But even then, it really hit home with me. Damn Your Eyes was a top drawer rip. There are lots of things you can say to people to let them know you wish harm on them, and think they are less than shit on your shoes, but Damn Your Eyes, now that is a cut above the rest. It expresses all of that, but it is clearly wishing a severe state of affairs on your eyes. You could just say “I hope you go blind,” which is rough. But damning one’s eyes? Now, that is calling God into the mix. You are wishing God would remove all holy protection from someone’s eyes, and tangentially the whole bag of bones. Opening someone’s eyes to evil is wild. That could be blindness, but it could also be injury. An injury birthed from Hell itself would imply a lot of nasty crap. Like, maybe they could still see, but their eyes would burn, from something like a handful of Snowy bleach. That would really suck, especially if you were young, and could live a while, but would always walk around thinking “why me?” all the time. Wishing death is pretty bad, but wishing an existence with damned eyes is harsh.

Maybe the idea was a big rip AND wishing that your eyes would see evil. Seeing evil is bad. That reminds me of the movie The Sentinel, where this chick has to guard the gates of hell. It starts showing up while she is reading a book – maybe Jacqueline Susan – and it turns into Latin to her. Her eyes were damned. Actually she was, because she tried to kill herself. People today wouldn’t buy that. Killing yourself, and not doing it right, well, then you just have problems. Not a sin. Sin is hard to buy, angels are easy. Either way, seeing into hell every day, watching out for demons trying to sneak into the world, not a gig I want.

And I think that is why I really like Damn Your Eyes. It is multi-purposed, and it is really heinous. I just was part of a film fest, and our flick failed to impress, but when I think of some of the things that did, I really don’t feel bad. I mean I did, but I didn’t as far as content and effort wise. But when I see some things that do impress people, and I think of what a lot of people tell me is good comedy, or when I think of Hotel For Dogs. Then I think too of that old gal, yelling “Damn Your Eyes!” And maybe she did mean me too.

Animal Crackers In My Soup

4/30/2008

I got a call asking me to pick up animal crackers with frosting and sprinkles, so I did. I love those myself, but I also like regular animal crackers, in the teeny box with a string. Frankly, I find those to be delish. Funny thing is, every time I see them, I think of Shirley Temple singing that song. It is a fun tune, catchy and pretty much a classic. But I think the guy who wrote it was just making shit up. Regular crackers – saltines – they rock in soup. Oyster crackers work as well, especially in a nice chowder. I'm no fan of Manhattan Clam chowder, but if I had to, I would put Oyster crackers in that. But who the fuck puts animal crackers in soup? That would be horrific. First and foremost, they are cookies. You don't get a bowl of chicken noodle soup and pop in some oatmeal cookies. You don't eat that. This guy wished they were crackers, so his song would work. Perhaps, he never even had them, and just saw them and assumed they were crackers. But I guess it is possible that people back then put cookies in soup. Man, the Great Depression was no fun. Great songs, though.

Wow. I forgot about this. Well, I am back. I never went anywhere, kind of. I just dealt with my brother dying, and some other hideous shit. Makes writing just another thing you can skip. But I have been writing again, and thinking, and moving beyond doing laundry in my free time. So, there you go. I will start putting stuff up again. I promise.