Son Of Kong

So, I’m revisiting things. Sue me. Just don’t blame me. You could always blame Bush. But really, blame King Kong. I come to bury Son of Kong, not to praise him. Or it. So, we all know that I love King Kong. Or I am fascinated by it in a more positive way, say as opposed to Honey Boo Boo. But as far as big gorillas go, Son of Kong gets no respect. It’s not right. King Kong has been remade a few times. He even pops up fighting Godzilla. Mighty Joe Young – the Edsel of big gorilla movies – even got remade. But poor Son of Kong, who appeared to be an orphan? Shit out of luck after one go round. And sure, it was a shitty movie. And who’s his mom? But lets look beyond the debacle, the shameless cash-in, and complete sham that was Son Of Kong, and lets pay respect to the majesty of Son Of Kong. It gave us….Son of (fill in the blank). When you want to let people know a film, TV show, comic book, rock band, or anything else is a lesser spun off version of a previous thing, it’s Son Of. It works only on crummy things. Frasier was a quality show, but if it had hung from a big fat prick, it would’ve been cancelled and labeled Son Of Cheers. George W Bush is Son of Bush. Put Son Of in front of anything, all expectations are lowered. I replaced a kitchen faucet once, and it was such a disaster that any venture into blind home repair gets dubbed Son of Kitchen Faucet. By me. In my head. Probably by my wife too. We never speak of it. But even with that, Son Of implies you’re around 50 to 90 years old. It’s an old timers cinematic homage to ridiculousness. Youngsters were treated to the equally compelling Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo. A movie that actually outdid Son of Kong as a horrendously awful pointless sequel. So I guess since I wrote about King Kong, I will re-dub this Thinking of Kong 2: Electric Boogaloo. Fuck that. Son Of Kong. I can’t wait for Bride of Kong. You know they have the script written up for that somewhere.